集体活动作文
初一 记叙文 20176字 3010人浏览 pyc2010sq

篇一:集体的温暖作文

集体

的温暖作文

集体的>温暖作文(一)

集体,多么温暖的词呀!在千千万万的人之中,凑成只有少数人的组织,这就是集体!而集

体带来的温暖,是不言而喻的。

又一次学校开展>运动会,全校师生都要参加,当我和同学兴致勃勃的来到学校时,运动

会已经开始了,现场热闹非凡!

你看,那边的扔铅球比赛进行得热火朝天,“哇,扔得真远,快有30多米了

吧!”“切,才扔了

10米远,要我扔,至少也得20多米吧!”我兴高采烈地评论道。

这时,广播中响起

了一个轻柔的声音:“田径比赛马上开始,请运动员做好准备。”我一拍脑门,呀,差点忘了,

我还要参加跑步比赛呢!等我急急忙忙地赶到比赛现场,比赛已经开始了。看着同学们都如

离弦的线一般“飞”去,我不禁为自己捏一把汗。

轮到我了,我跑的

可是400米呀,哨声响起,我不顾一切地冲出去,耳边只有呼呼的风吹声,很快,一名选手

赶了上来,我俩你追我赶,在离终点只有50米时,我体力不支而摔倒了,只得了第三名。

看着我为班级带来的耻辱,我“哇”一声哭了。这时,班上的同学都过来安慰我:“别哭了,

我们不怪你。”“下次再努力,加油!”看着同学们这么贴心地安慰我,我心中十分感动,身上

流过一股暖流,我知道,那是集体的温暖带来的。我感受到了,这个“大家庭”是那么团结,

那么温暖!

集体的温暖会给予人无限的力量!

集体的温暖作文(二)

就由班长去叫, “老师来了, 老师来了“老师轻轻地推开了门, 我和林就把手上的喷花的东西往

老师身上一喷“哈哈! “老师中彩了! 接着我们就开始欢乐, “哈哈! “笑声传遍了整栋教学

楼...... 体会到我们班的温暖了吗?

集体的温暖作文(三)

我们飞奔着下了楼,来到草坪上,等待比赛开始。我跟着祝叶青、唐菁秀等人,先在草坪上

我们绑住脚,练习了起来,虽然走得不快,但是我们的步伐很整齐。上课铃响了,男女生各

组成了两组,迎接着比赛。我站在叶雨婷和陈越飞的中间,我绑住了我和叶雨婷的脚,陈越

飞则绑住了我和她的脚。陈越飞对我说:“你只管大胆往前走,这儿是草坪,不会摔疼的。”

听了这句话,我心里塌实多了。我们绑好脚,脚绑住了以后,我的脚很沉重,好像每只脚上

都绑着沙袋似的,十分不自由。我们先训练了一阵子,脚绑住了,我动弹不得,两只脚之间

的距离随即也越来越大,幸亏调整了一下。接着,老师把我们的脚编为1、2两号,我们知道

了顺序,准备比赛开始。老师一声令下,我们两队都开始慢慢前进。我们使劲喊着口令,步

伐也渐渐加快,偶尔,我们会调整一下队伍,然后,继续激烈的比赛。“一二一二”,陈越飞

把我从草坪拉上塑胶跑道,我们走到终点了,顿时,胜利的喜悦涌上每个女生的心头。回头

一看,男生们还在离起点不远的草坪上,乱七八糟地坐着,互相埋怨着。一点也不团结。

我们又准备走回起点。就这样,我们按照老师的指导,转了方向,男生们这时也有了精神,

朝这儿走来,我们也不停歇,又从塑胶跑道踏入了草坪,开始第二次挑战,后来,我们甚至

小跑,令我想不到的是,我的脚也跟着大家的步伐,一路小跑,直到终点。

这次游戏,使我感

受到了胜利的喜悦,感受到了集体的温暖,只有大家齐心协力,合作才会成功。

篇二:情景作文集体活动类语言材料

高三

写作语言素材 (集体活动) 文章结构:

para1:主题句(一

句话点题)

? today my

classmates and i went to „to do„/ pay a visit to„

para2;具体过程

? early in the

morning „/ at 8 o’clock in the morning „. ? arriving there, we found „.

? having done „

(分词作时间状语)

? late in the

afternoon we„/ at 4:00pm, we„

para3: 结论

(feeling)

today i felt

tired, but „ because„/ tired as we were, we...

篇章连接词:

分组活动/劳动场

面:some were (doing)„. others were (doing)„ still others were (doing).the rest

were (doing)„/

boys„ girls„

罗列顺序:

first „, then / next / after that „

时间顺序:early

in the morning /at 8 o ’clock in the morning two hours later „/ in the middle

of the day / at noon late in the afternoon we„

常用短语、句子:

一句话点题:on

march 5th our class organized an activity to„

meaningful

activity „

our class organized a day trip to„

出发

? early in the morning we gathered at the school gate and went there on foot.

? the next day, we set off early in the morning with high spirits and went there by bus.

? all the students in our class got together in the morning and set out to the destination by bike. 到达

? upon arrival, we began to work immediately.

? on arriving there, everybody immediately began to work. 劳动场面

? ? some students dug holes, and some students carried young tree seedlings, while other students watered the planted young trees.

? although the day was so hot that all of us were sweating, we still ... ? tired as we were, nobody had a rest ? time went by/ time flew!

劳动后的感受 ? we were tired but happy. ? tired as we were, we...

? we feel its our duty to protect and beautify our environment.

? we are so proud of our great work and we have decided that we will carry out the activity every year. ? though cleaning up the rubbish was a tough task, our hearts were filled with joy and we will remember this activity for

ever.

enrich my after-school life.

? we are fully convinced that only in this way, can we contribute to build up a more harmonious relationship between

human beings and nature.

? we call on awareness on protecting our environment which is of great importance.

? this activity definitely enriches my after-school life experience and broaden my horizons as well. 话题词汇

社区服务/创建和

谐社会话题 pay a visit to„参观/拜访 go to „ for an outing出游

improve the

qualities of life 提升生活质量

raise people ’s

environmental awareness提高人们的环保意识 waste is scattering here and there.到

处撒满了废弃物 be fully aware of the danger充分意识到危险

take active and

effective measures to control pollution采取积极有效的措施控制污染 fight against

pollution 与污染斗争

it is a shame to

throw rubbish around. 乱扔垃圾是可耻的

form good habits

to protect the surroundings 养成良好的习惯来保护环境 take active measures to protect

采取积极措施保护... take good care of our forests关心我们的森林

plant more trees

to improve the environment 多植来改善环境

the terrible

pollution have done great harm to us as well as to the surroundings. 可怕的污染

已经给我们自己还有我们的环境带来了很大的危害

关于水资源节约的

话题

it’s our duty to

save water.as we know , water is very important to man, we can ’t live without water.

(没有水我们就不能生存)the amount of water which is suitable to drink is less and

less. but some people don ’t care about it . (但是有些人却不关心或不在意。)they waste

a lot of water in their daily life. (日常生活中他们浪费很多水。)even worse, they

pour dirty water in to rivers.(他们排放污水到河流里。)they throw rubbish into rivers ,

too. (他们还乱扔垃圾到河流里)many rivers and lakes are seriously polluted.(受到

严重污染。) something must be done to stop the pollution. only in this way can we

live happily. 。) if we don ’t save water, the last drop of water will be a tear-drop

of us.( 如果我们不节约水,那么最后一滴水也许会是我们人类的眼泪)

垃圾分类意义

firstly, rubbish

classification can reduce the amount of rubbish and the rubbish pollution to the

environment. what is more, it can recycle resources, which will do good to our

environmental protection.

since rubbish

classification has so many advantages, our government should take effective measures

and immediate actions. different dustbins should be placed in public places so that

residents can leave their sorted rubbish in them.

校园生活 ·to work hard at „ 在„方面努力 ·to concentrate

·to get on well

with sb. /sth. 与某人相处的好、某事on „ 专注于 进展顺利 ·to be keen on „ 热衷

于,非常喜爱

·to be good at / to do well

in „ 擅长 ·to be poor at / be weak in „ 在„方面差 ·to make progress in „在„

方面取得进步 ·to fail /pass the examination (没有)通过考试 ·to succeed / to be

successful in„ 取得成功 ·to hear from sb. 收到某人来信

·to apologize to

sb. for „因为„向某人道歉 ·to explain sth. to sb. 向某人解释 ·to be active in „

在„方面积极

·to give advice

on „ 就„提出建议 ·to devote one ’s time to „ 在„上花时间 ·to turn a deaf ear

to 对„ 充耳不闻 ·to have difficulty / trouble doing 做„有困难 ·to be prepared

for / to do 准备好 ·to set about doing / set out to do 开始着手做„

业余生活

·go for an outing

/ a picnic 去郊游/野餐 ·go sightseeing 观光 ·to appreciate the scenery of nature

欣赏大自然的风景 ·to keep healthy / fit 保持健康 ·to relax oneself 放松身心 ·to

strengthen/build up the body 锻炼身体 ·to meet the demand / need 符合需要 ·to break

the ice 打破沉默 ·to take measures/action采取措施(行动) ·to develop / get into

the habit of„ 养成„习惯 ·to raise the standard of living提升生活水平 ·to have

a deep understanding of有很深的了解 ·to follow the fashion/trend跟随潮流 ·to

have a chat with 聊天 ·to have a great influence on 有很大的影响 ·to make a deep

impression on 予人很深的印象 ·to make a fool of sb. 愚弄 ·to make an excuse

找借口 ·to get into trouble 陷入困境 ·to help sb out 帮某人摆脱困境 ·to do some

good deeds 做好事 ·to offer help 提供帮助 ·to insist on doing sth. 坚持要做某

事 ·to regret doing sth. 后悔做过某事 ·to keep / prevent / stop sb from

doing 阻止某人做某事

·to give one a

lift 给人搭便车

·to kill time 消

磨时间

·to keep in / to

lose touch with保持/失去联络 ·to be caught / to get stuck in a traffic jam遇到

交通阻塞 ·to take the place of 取代 ·to spare no effort to do / to make every effort

to do 不遗余力 ·to take the pains to do 不辞辛劳 ·to live in harmony 生活和谐 ·to

take regular exercise 有规律的运动 ·to have proper diet 合理的饮食 ·to have a

sleepless night 彻夜未眠

感观与思维活动常见表达方式

·to ·catch sight

of „ 看见 ·to see / hear sb do (doing) 看到 / 听到某人(正在)做„

·to be worried /

upset / concerned about„对„担忧 ·to feel excited about„对„感到兴奋

·to feel

surprised /shocked / astonished at „对„感到吃惊/震惊

·to be sorry /

regretful for „对„感到遗憾

·be pleased /

satisfied / content with „对„感到满意

·to look forward

to doing„ / to long for„ 期待„ ·to be eager to do / to have a strong desire to

do „渴望做„

·to make up one ’

s mind / to be determined to do „ 决定做„

·to feel

refreshed 精神抖擞 ·to relieve the tension and anxiety解除紧张和焦虑 ·to be

energetic 精力充沛的 ·to be bored感到无聊 ·to be encouraged / inspired感到

振奋、受到鼓舞 ·to be discouraged / frustrated感到气馁 ·to be tired out感

到十分疲倦 ·to be disturbed / bothered 感到烦恼 ·to lose patience 失去耐心 ·to

lose heart失去信心

态度与感受

·to speak / think

highly of„ 对„评价高 ·to broaden the horizon开拓视野 ·to broaden the mind开

拓心胸 ·to realize ones ambition实现抱负 ·to keep ones promise守信用 ·to keep

up with the times 跟上时代 ·to be concerned about the society 关心社会 ·to fulfill

ones duty尽到责任 ·to be faced/confronted with the difficulty面临困难

·to get through the

difficulties / to weather the storm渡过困境 ·to stick to the principle坚守原

则 ·to escape the reality逃避现实 ·to pull oneself together / to take heart

振作 ·to take / shoulder the responsibility 承担责任 ·to take / seize the opportunity

把握机会 ·to set a good example / to be a role model树立楷模 ·to be independent

/ to stand on ones own自立 ·to achieve the aim/goal达到目标 ·to realize one’

s dream 实现梦想

篇三:情景作文集体活动类语言材料

高三

写作语言素材 (集体活动) 文章结构:

para1:主题句(一

句话点题)

? today my

classmates and i went to „to do„/ pay a visit to„

para2;具体过程

? early in the

morning „/ at 8 o’clock in the morning „.

? arriving there,

we found „.

? having done „

(分词作时间状语)

? late in the

afternoon we„/ at 4:00pm, we„

para3: 结论(feeling)

today i felt

tired, but „ because„/ tired as we were, we...

篇章连接词:

分组活动/劳动场

面:some were (doing)„. others were (doing)„ still others were

(doing).the rest

were (doing)„/ boys„ girls„

罗列顺序:

first „, then / next / after that „

时间顺序:early

in the morning /at 8 o’clock in the morning

two hours later „

/ in the middle of the day / at noon

late in the

afternoon we„

常用短语、句子:

一句话点题:on

march 5th our class organized an activity to„

meaningful

activity „

our class

organized a day trip to„

出发

? early in the

morning we gathered at the school gate and went there on foot.

? the next day, we

set off early in the morning with high spirits and went there by bus. ? all the students

in our class got together in the morning and set out to the destination

by bike.

到达

? upon arrival,

we began to work immediately.

? on arriving

there, everybody immediately began to work.

劳动场面

? ? some students

dug holes, and some students carried young tree seedlings, while other

students watered the planted young trees.

? although the day was so hot

that all of us were sweating, we still ...

? tired as we were,

nobody had a rest

? time went by/

time flew!

劳动后的感受

? we were tired

but happy.

? tired as we were,

we...

? we feel its our

duty to protect and beautify our environment.

? we are so proud

of our great work and we have decided that we will carry out the

activity every

year.

? though cleaning

up the rubbish was a tough task, our hearts were filled with joy and

we will remember

this activity for ever.

services, which

enables me to enrich my after-school life.

? we are fully

convinced that only in this way, can we contribute to build up a more

harmonious

relationship between human beings and nature.

? we call on

awareness on protecting our environment which is of great importance. ? this

activity definitely enriches my after-school life experience and broaden my

horizons as well.

话题词汇

社区服务/创建和

谐社会话题

pay a visit to„

参观/拜访 be in order有序的

go to „ for an

outing 出游 peaceful和平的,

help with the „帮

助 help each ether互助,

social service 社

会服务 care for each other互相关心,

do some cleaning

清理环境 have deep love for 热爱

have a picnic /

rest 野餐、休息 be concerned with 关心

show sb. around „

带领参观 build创建

put on / give

performances 演节目 cherish珍惜

have a good time /

enjoy oneself开心 take an active part in积极参与

harmonious和谐

的, no pains, no gains. 不劳无获。

friendly友好的,

it is honorable to „ „是光荣的。honest 真诚的

sustainable development可持续发展

„can be achieved

by hard wok. „可以通过劳动获得

if everyone does

something for the society, our world will be more beautiful,

every one

should „ and devotes himself to building our motherland into a strong country.

每个人应该„,为把我们祖国建设成为一个强壮的国家而奉献自己的量。

环境保护话题 be harmful to / to do harm to对„有害 protect the environment 保护

环境 save water / electricity 节水,节电 be environmentally friendly 环保的 live

a low carbon life 低碳生活

litter / to

scatter garbage 乱丢垃圾 cause inconvenience 造成不便 reduce pollution 减少

污染 save energy节省能源

beautify the

environment 美化环境 cut down trees砍伐树木

do damage to 造成

损害 save /waste resource浪费/节约资源 benefit / to be beneficial to„ 对„

有益 bring about the disorder 造成混乱 improve the qualities of life 提升生活质

raise people ’s

environmental awareness提高人们的环保意识

waste is

scattering here and there.到处撒满了废弃物

be fully aware of

the danger充分意识到危险

take active and

effective measures to control pollution采取积极有效的措施控制污染

fight against

pollution 与污染斗争

it is a shame to

throw rubbish around. 乱扔垃圾是可耻的

form good habits

to protect the surroundings养成良好的习惯来保护环境

take active

measures to protect 采取积极措施保护...

take good care of

our forests关心我们的森林

plant more trees

to improve the environment 多植来改善环境

the terrible

pollution have done great harm to us as well as to the surroundings. 可怕的污染

已经给我们自己还有我们的环境带来了很大的危害

关于水资源节约的话题

it’s our duty to

save water.as we know , water is very important to man, we can ’t live without water.

(没有水我们就不能生存)the amount of water which is suitable to drink is less and

less. but some people don ’t care about it . (但是有些人却不关心或不在意。)they waste

a lot of water in their daily life. (日常生活中他们浪费很多水。)even worse, they

pour dirty water in to rivers.(他们排放污水到河流里。)they throw rubbish into rivers ,

too. (他们还乱扔垃圾到河流里)many rivers and lakes are seriously polluted.(受到

严重污染。) something must be done to stop the pollution. only in this way can we

live happily. 。) if we don ’t save water, the last drop of water will be a tear-drop

of us.( 如果我们不节约水,那么最后一滴水也许会是我们人类的眼泪)

垃圾分类意义

firstly, rubbish

classification can reduce the amount of rubbish and the rubbish pollution to the

environment. what is more, it can recycle resources, which will do good to our

environmental protection.

since rubbish

classification has so many advantages, our government should take effective measures

and immediate actions. different dustbins should be placed in

public places so that residents can leave their sorted rubbish in them.

校园生活

·to get on well

with sb. /sth. 与某人相处的好、某事进展顺利

·to work hard

at „ 在„方面努力 ·to concentrate on„ 专注于

·to be keen on „ 热衷于,非常喜爱

·to be good at / to do well in „ 擅长

·to be poor at / be weak in „ 在„方面差

·to make progress in „在„方面取得进步

·to fail /pass the examination (没有)通过考试

·to succeed / to be successful in„ 取得成功

·to hear from sb. 收到某人来信

·to apologize to sb. for„因为„向某人道歉

·to explain sth. to sb. 向某人解释

·to be active in „在„方面积极

·to take an active part in „ 积极参与

·to learn„ by heart 记住,背下来

·to bear ... in mind 牢记在心

·to work out a problem 解出一道题

·to have a wide range of knowledge有广泛的知识

·to have a talent for 有„才能

·to be skilled in 在„方面熟练

·to be strict with sb. 对某人要求严格

·to praise sb for sth „ 因为„表扬某人

·to blame sb for sth. / to blame sth. on sb. 因为„责备某人

·to give advice on „ 就„提出建议

·to devote one’

s time to „ 在„上花时间

·to turn a deaf ear to对„ 充耳不闻

·to have difficulty / trouble doing 做„有困难

·to be prepared for / to do 准备好

·to set about doing / set out to do 开始着手做„

业余生活

·go for an outing / a picnic 去郊游/野餐

·go sightseeing 观光

·to appreciate the scenery of nature欣赏大自然的风景

·to keep healthy / fit保持健康

·to relax oneself 放松身心

·to strengthen/build up the body锻炼身体

·to meet the demand / need符合需要

·to break the ice 打破沉默

·to take measures/action采取措施(行动)

·to develop / get into the habit of„ 养成„习惯

·to raise the standard of living提升生活水平

·to have a deep understanding of有很深的了解

·to follow the fashion/trend跟随潮流

·to have a chat with 聊天

·to have a great influence on有很大的影响

·to make a deep impression on予人很深的印象

·to make a fool of sb. 愚弄

·to make an excuse 找借口

·to get into trouble 陷入困境

·to help sb out 帮某人摆脱困境

·to do some good deeds 做好事

·to offer help 提供帮助

·to insist on doing sth. 坚持要做某事

·to regret doing sth. 后悔做过某事

·to keep / prevent / stop sb from doing 阻止某人做某事

·to give one a lift 给人搭便车

·to kill time 消磨时间

·to keep in / to lose touch with保持/失去联络

·to be caught / to get stuck in a traffic jam遇到交通阻塞

·to take the place of取代

·to spare no effort to do / to make every effort to do不遗余力

·to take the pains to do不辞辛劳

·to live in harmony 生活和谐

·to take regular exercise 有规律的运动

·to have proper diet 合理的饮食

·to have a sleepless night 彻夜未眠

感观与思维活动常见表达方式

·to ·catch sight of „ 看见

·to see / hear sb do (doing) 看到 / 听到某人(正在)做„

·to take „into consideration / account考虑到

·to have a good understanding of „ 对„很了解

·to consider / regard „ to be „ 认为

·to realize that „ 意识到

·to be filled with joy充满喜悦

·be tired of 厌烦

·to be delighted / to take delight / to take a pleasure in doing„ 以„为乐 ·to be worried / upset / concerned about„对„担忧

·to feel excited about „对„感到兴奋

·to feel surprised /shocked / astonished at „对„感到吃惊/震惊

篇四:一次集体作文的启示

我的教育故事

一次集体作文的启示

大理州洱源县炼铁初级中学 周雪飞

初中作文教学中常常有种种困惑:学生作文素材积累不够,无从下手,无话可说;学生已经固定格式,很多学生是为了作文而作文,把一些材料按一定的格式组装起来,形成立意相似、构思类同、表达接近的“新八股”作文;学生写作文的兴趣不高,有些学生根本就靠抄袭机或械模仿作文来应付老师,缺乏独立创作意识;素材积累与内容空洞,作文政治答案化;学生不能表达自己的情感。学生为了高分作文,都选择别的有深刻社会影响的题材,本身自己经历的不敢写上去,怕不能得高分?? 作文教学中出现的问题,有时令人啼笑皆非。

2005年,洱源县委政府举办了一次“平安校园”作文竞赛,并且作为一项任务下达,每个学校都必须拿出至少两篇征文参赛,我校规定,学校组织一次“平安校园”作文竞赛,通过评选后再认真修改,至少每班拿出一篇优秀的作文投稿。

任务下达后,师生都犯难了:首先觉得主题固定,不可能让学生自由发挥;其次这次作文具有特殊的形势和政治背景,既要做到形象化,以事感人,以情动人,以理服人,又要深刻的表现“师生共创平安校园”这一主题,实在是以往作文中很少遇到过的;再加上没有提供参考题目,在中小学课文和师生能找到的“优秀作文”中也找不到类似的范文可以借鉴,也没有任何写作提示,

很难确定一个恰当的作文标题;最让人为难的是字数还必须在一千五百字左右,而平时考试

作文的要求仅仅是800字左右。

我综合分析以上困

难之后,觉得必须针对学生作文的困难,首先跟学生一起认真审题、拟题。作文辅导课上,

我跟学生一起,认真讨论“师生共创平安校园”这一主题,启发学生从师生关系,同学关系,

校园安全,防止校园突发事件,防止自然灾害,关注校园小事等方面收集材料,要求每个学

生都写出一个初稿来。我原以为通过一节课的精心指导,一定能拿出一两篇像样的作文来,

结果令我很失望:大多数学生作文作文都是“政治答案化”,几乎几乎从头到尾围绕创建“平

安校园”的意义谈几点看法,提几条建议,这次作文几乎成了“结合实际谈谈如何创建平安

校园”这个政治论述题的几乎统一答案。

好不容易找到三篇

不是“政治答案化”的作文,不是文笔太差,就是字数太少,甚至离题。我想:既然学生单

独写不出一篇像样的征文来,我能不能学歌剧《白毛女》的创作,也搞一次集体创作呢?

我将选出来的三篇

作文在语句上稍加修改后,让三位小作者在班上朗读了自己的作文,然后让他们谈谈自己的

写作过程和体验。第一位同学的作文是《那又是一个秋天》。她说她的标题是从歌词中引用的,

所写的是从一则新闻报道中摘引而来的故事:一位青年教师为了抢救落水儿童英勇牺牲的故

事。第二个同学朗读的作文是《老师,我好想你》,他介绍说,他写的是真人真事,真情实感,

他写了班主任(也就是我)在他辍学后,受伤时以及违反纪律之后三次找他谈话的经历,朗

读时也的确打动了我,感动了班上的同学。第三个同学所写的是《一封没有交出去的检讨书》,

她毫不隐瞒的说,这篇作文是模仿优秀作文上《一封没有寄出的信》写的,大体情节是:因

为和好友闹了别扭,老师同时批评了他两,并让他们写出检查,她觉得自己很委屈,竟然顶

撞了老师,拒绝交出本来已经写了一半的检讨书,若干年后,她深深懊悔自己的无知。

全班同学一致认为:经过老师修改后的三篇作文都可以向学校推荐。

我分析了三篇作文

的得失之后,又重申了这次作文竞赛的主题,觉得三篇作文都偏离了“创建平安校园”的主

题,如果要推荐, 还得修改。希望同学充分发表自己的看法,经过同学热烈的讨论之后,我

提出了自己的修改意见:

《那又是一个秋天》

可以修改为:老师组织集体活动,事先反复强调纪律和安全问题,而“我”想采一束山花,

不慎落水,不会游泳的老师为了救我而牺牲,又是一个秋天,我到了老师的坟前献上一束鲜

花,以表达我对老师的感激和怀念之情,同时也深深的忏悔,以此突出:学生要准守纪律,

师生要时刻保持高度的全意识才能保障师生平安这一主题。

《老师,我好想你》

分散而不集中,也不能体现“平安校园”的主题,综合全班同学的意见作如下修改:标题改

为《一次意想不到的伤害》集中抓住自己受伤的事来写:上学路上自己违反规定乘坐了农用

车,不慎跌了下来,跌段了手臂,不懂法的驾驶员对我不闻不问,家族里的人决定组织一次

报复行动,班主任来我家家访,跟我的家人了解情况后,晓以利害,避免了一次纠纷,最终

我们通过法律渠道获得了赔偿。

《一封没有交出去

的检讨书》情节上做了较小的改动:我和同学在教室中打闹,将一把塑料尺子丢出了窗外,

老师正好从窗外经过,对我们进行了严厉的批评,可是个性极强的我自认为一把塑料尺不能

伤人,事实上也没有伤到任何人,老师用不着小题大做,于是我拒不做检查,顶撞了老师,

若干年后,我为此时深深懊悔。

思路统一后,我把

全班同学分为三组,让平时作文功底较强的三个同学当组长,对以上三个同学的作文作详细

修改。

三天后,三篇修改

稿交上来了,都比第二稿好多了。特别是《一封没有交出去的检讨书》经过了学生的修改,

比我指导的内容更充实了:老师让我们出班刊,我随手将粉笔头扔出窗外,恰好打在老师肩

上,当时老师也没有在意,担心影响专注于出班刊的我,事后找我谈话,耐心劝我改掉随手

乱扔东西的习惯,我接受了老师的建议,但依然没有改掉这种恶习。后来又是乱扔粉笔头打

到了一个同学的头上,他对我破口大骂,我们这间发生了较严重的冲突,,老师严厉批评了我

们,并让我们写出书面检讨,我觉得自己已经对同学赔礼道歉,是他不依不饶,是老师对他

偏心,于是拒不交出已经写了一半的检查。

在集体评改作文的

时候,同学一致认为《一封没有交出去的检讨书》最成功,我也打算就此定稿,一个平时语

文成绩较差又极其顽皮的同学突然发言“一个粉笔头也伤不了人,老师也真是小题大做。”这

句话提醒了我:老师的原来批评的是乱扔东西,后来严厉批评的是同学之间的矛盾冲突,这

是不是偏离了表现“平安无小事”这一主题的初衷了呢?可第三小组三天的辛苦就这样白费

了吗?经过权衡,我决定再作修改。我给同学们讲了曹雪芹创作《红楼梦》“批阅十载,增删

五次” “字字看来皆是血,十年辛苦不寻常”的故事。给他们讲了文章必须多修改,反复推

敲的道理。经过讨论,我们形成了一个新的作文思路:我与老师相处默契,他的一举一动,

一颦一笑我都很留意,我知道他爱花,尤其爱郁金香,于是我特意买了一幅《盛开的郁金香》

的油画,还专门做了装裱,打算挂在教室讲台的对面,每天他一抬眼就能看得见的地方,想

让老师每天给我们上课都有好心情,不料在我悄悄的一个人挂这幅画的时候,随手把一颗弯

钉子丢出教室,被刚好路过的老师中发现,并把我叫出教室外面,批评了一顿,我觉得自己

很委屈,当场顶撞了老师,并拒绝写检查。若干年后,我上了初中,有一位好友被一颗弯

钉子插破了脚,,血淋淋的事实教育了我,我才懊悔当年不该顶撞老师,并决定找机会向老师

当面检讨一下,不料老师早已把这事忘了,并很惊讶的问:“有过这事吗?”。通过这样的修

改,突出“校园安全无小事,而一些安全的隐患常被师生都忽略了”这一主题。我指定五个

作文功底较好的同学一起修改润色后逐句念给全班同学,并一起逐句修改到大家都觉得没有

问题为止。

经过艰苦的努力,

第三次改稿出笼了,好得让我怀疑是否真出自我的学生之手,再让三个平时作文最好的学生

最后定稿后交给我,第四稿交到我手中,我只是将标题改为《一颗弯钉子》并对标点符号作

了一些修改,加上了我的批语就投稿参赛。

一个月后,这篇经

过全班同学集体创作的作文获奖了。当荣誉证书发到第一次写出初稿《一封没有交出去的检

讨书》的同学手中时,她含着泪激动地说:“这份荣誉应该属于我们班的全体同学,尤其是与

我一起合作了几天的语文老师和最后跟我一起定稿的两位同学。”

“荣誉属于全班同

学!”这是发自内心的感激,也是全班同学的心声,我觉得这次集体作文的意义远远超过了获

得了荣誉的价值。

首先,它让全班同

学切身感受到了作文的艰辛,体会到了作文的苦乐,懂得了一篇好的作文必须经过反复修改

的道理。

其次,它是一次学

生合作学习和创新的有益尝试,每个同学都能畅所欲言地发表自己的看法,在评改别人作文

的同时,自己也得到了写作实践的锻炼,使被评改的作文作者在今后的作文创作中思路更开

阔,思维更缜密了,最为重要的是使全班同学都产生了成就感和集体荣誉感。

再有就是通过这次

集体创作活动,让同学懂得了作文创作必须走过的历程:观察思考——审题命题——形成思

路——材料和语言的组织——修改润色——定稿。

这次集体作文给我

的启示是:学生作文尤其是山区中学的学生作文存在种种困惑,它需要教师在教学实践中独

立思考并大胆尝试各种解决办法。具体可以有以下的解决方式:

第一,在教学中力

求引导学生敢说真话。

第二,引导学生写

作文要注意“意在笔先”。

第三,引导学生写

作时要注意思维缜密,语言优美。

第四,改变单一的

批阅方式,采用教师改,小组改,学生互改等多种方式相结合,让学生在改作文中进步。因

为布置多次作文不如改好一次作文。

第五,让学生坚持

写日记,鼓励学生大胆记录自己的真情实感,鼓励学生写即兴作文,比如,开过运动会,写

运动会纪实,参加植树劳动让他们写劳动的感受体会等。

第六,要注重培养

学生观察生活的能力,同时养成纸笔不离身,随手写片段作文的好习惯。纵观古代诗词中的

名句、名联甚至是名篇,大多都是不拘一格,妙手偶得的片段作文。所以学生作文不能求全

责备。不必非要按照开头如何,过

渡如何,结尾如何,线索是否清晰,条理是否清楚一一审查。只要有真实感受,有新意,有

闪光点就要予以鼓励。

第七,加强课外阅

读,多方面引路开导。引导学生广泛阅读,多看多想,既可以丰富他们的课余生活,活跃他

们的思想,充实他们的知识,又有利于提高他们观察生活的能力。还能为他们提供写作借鉴

(其实很多名家名作都有借鉴)。教师应当做有心人,经常向学生介绍短小精悍的、以日常生

活为题材的文章,以便于他们模仿、学习和借鉴。

总之,随着快餐文

化和网络“快餐文学”的流行,学生阅读兴趣越来越低,越来越把作文当做应付考试的手段,

使我们传统的作文教学面临新的挑战,可谓任重道远,但是只要我们能主动的参与到课程的

研究,开发与建设,树立终身学习的理念,具备认真踏实,孜孜不倦,不断开拓创新的职业

精神,相信我们一定能让学生爱上作文,爱上写作文。