写好英文作文
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一、 怎样写出地道的英文句子

首先,我想通过一些实例对英文写作中普遍存在的问题做些具体分析。对中国人来讲,英文写作要应付两种考试:一种是ESL 的各类英文考试:中国的高考、四级、六级、考研及全球认可的托福、雅思等等;另外一种是进入美国、加拿大一些大学的写作考试,例如SAT(Scholaslic Assessment Test) 及LPI (Language Proficiency Index)。这是两种程度完全不同的考试。简单说,ESL 写作只要句子对,有基本写作格式和一定的论据,考试过关就没问题。而SAT 及LPI 这类考试是一种相当于中国高考语文作文的写作考试,英语为母语的人都很难过关,更不用说母语不是英语的人了。这类写作我会放在最后讲。我先讲的是ESL 和SAT 及LPI 两种不同程度的写作考试的共性,也是写作中最基本、最重要部分。

英文写作是由两方面的技能组成;一是Techinal 部分,包括文章的格式(format)、语法(grammar)、句子结构(sentence structure) ;二是表达部分,包括词的用法(word usage)、句子组合(sentence combination)、文体一致(style agreement)。对一个ESL 学生来讲,写作的第一步是能把句子写对。什么是对的句子? 这是问题的关键。

正确的句子绝不是简单的中文翻译,更不是语法的简单排列。正确的句子就是以英语为母语的人能读懂你在写什么为标准。秘诀就是简单准确(Simple but correct) 。如果只是简单地把中文按字面意思翻成英文肯定会出错。例如:“文学来源于生活,高于生活”。很多中国学生是这样表述的:Literature comes from life but beyond life .加拿大老师无论怎样都读不懂。他们会这样写:Literature dramatizes life.

再比如,“要想提高英文得多同加拿大人接触”。中国学生基本会直接翻译过来:To improve Enslish , we should keep contact with Canadian people more often .这是一个很令加拿大人费解的句子keep contact with的意思是与人保持联系,一般指熟人,用在这里不妥,没有表答出写作者的真正意思,因为以英语为本族语的人读不懂,你的同学甚至你的中国老师读懂没用,因为他们同你一样也是用中译英的方法。加拿大人会这样写:To improve EnSlish ,we should expose ourselves more often to Canadian people.怎样避免这样的问题并不需要来加拿大留学,在中国学英文照样能学得地道。关键是怎么学? 从哪里下手? 我在后面会具体讲。

在写作时,切记不要写太深奥、难翻的句子,尽可能直截了当地表述。例如:“苹果有营养。”如果你不知道“nutricious ”这个词怎么办? 那就简单意译:Apples are good for health .千万不要以为写得简单拿不到高分,可是写一个错句根本拿不到分。简单句容易写对。但是大多数中国学生就是陷在这个误区出不来。这也难免,中国学生特别是具备高等学历以上的成年学生这个问题最突出。这些人的中文水平和逻辑思维能力都已相当成熟,而英文的语言表达能力跟不上,又不肯“低就”写简单、准确的句子。简单准确是所有语言写作的基础。中文也是如此,我们刚开始上小学时写作是从组词造句开始,并且句子很简单。“她的脸红得像苹果。”一个一年级的小学生写这样的句子应该很正常,老师不会期盼这么小的孩子写出“她的脸嫣红”这样的句子。因此,写作是由简单准确开始,然后逐步过渡到优秀,也就是与你的思维能力基本同步。

我接触过许多来自大陆的学生,他们大多是在国内接受过考前强化培训,甚至有为数不少的人还曾花几十万元在国内上过所谓的预科学校,有的托福成绩非

常高。,然而,就是这样的学生写出的作文竟也有许多让人摸不着头脑的地方。他们一个共同的特点就是特别喜欢写长句,写从句。例如:The barrier which is formidable is language.这是中国学生写的十分典型的错句。有很多学生不服气,认为自己写的句子有主语,有动词,还有定语从句呢,多有水平。问题就出在这儿,真正的英文写作一定要避免重复,每个词都要有用。上面的句子用一个简单句就可以表达清楚:The language barrier is formidable.

使用过多从句不但使读者困惑,最主要是容易出错。例如:Before going to the grocery ,you should make a list if you make ahabit of planning first,you will not buy unneeded items .这个句子看上去挺长、挺有水平的,但是个错句。请读者认真读一下这个句子,用已学 的英文知识改正这个错句。接下来就开始进入主题。先谈谈中国学生也是ESL 学生甚至包括本族学生也存在的问题,四大类型的句子错误。很多知识点是当地中学生的英文写作内容,是写作基础的基础。上面句子的正确答案是接下来要主讲的内容之一,请大家继续关注。

二、英文写作中常见的错句

(一)粘连句

在这一部分,我谈谈国中学生最常犯但又几乎意识不到的四种句子错误。因为,对这几种错误,很多中国学生出国前根本没把这些当成什么错儿,但是,出来后却发现,在国外的英文写作中这些错是非常严重的错误,很多学生6分的作文只能拿到2到3分,挫折感很大。这也许是国内外英文教学的侧重点不同造成的吧。基于这些同学的经历,作为一名英文教师,我深感有必要把国外的英文教学介绍给中国的读者,在未来的英文学习尤其是有一天来到国外学习深造时少走弯路。

我们都知道,写作的基础是句子。什么是句子? 大部分人会想到主谓宾的结构,但这个概念并非十分严密。例如:Because l have a baby.尽管包含了主谓宾成分,但不是句子,至少不是一个完整的句子。Money talks.没有宾语仍然是句子。简单讲,一个完整句子=subject+verb+complete idea.(主语+动词+完整意思+句号) 。句子的概念是看似简单但却是英文阅读及写作的灵魂。托福考试中语法部分很大程度上都是在考这个最基本的句子概念:基于这个概念我们来看第一类常见错误:粘连句(run-on sentence)。

在写作时,一个句子写它后最常用的标点是句号,以告诉读者,意思到此结束。如果在两个完整句之间点逗号( ,) ,就使前后两句变成了粘连句。这种错误叫逗号粘连(comma slice),因为逗号只是句子的暂停,意思没有结束:如果在两个完整句子间不加任何标点同样使前后两句粘连,这种称为全粘连(fused sentence) ,我们把这两种错误统称为粘连句(run-on sentence) 。就是说一组S+V+complete idea冲入了另一组S+V+complete idea,中间没有适当的分离,这种错误使读者产生混乱,因此是英文写作的第一大忌。中国学生易犯此种错误,一方面原因是中文写作中标点符号的使用比较随意,再者中文的标点与英文的用法上是有一定的不同;另一方面,国内的英文课堂讲写作的课时也不是很多,也就难怪学生会出现这样那样的错了。

- 记得2002年下半年我们学院来了一位叫Frankie 白的大陆学生。他是国内某大企业的高级管理人员,他的托福和GMAT 其他项分数很高,但写作不理想。Frankie 的第一篇文章,没有分数,老师只给了四句批语1.run-on sentences;

2.faulty parallelism(不平行结构) ;3.sentence fragments(断句) ;4.dangling modifiers(悬空修饰) 。Frankie 拿着作文来找我,说:你们这个老师没教什么,也没有帮我改正什么,只写了这几条评语,而且他也不知道这些评语是什么意思。为什么老师不讲? 我对他说,他犯的这几种句子错误,在母语为英语的国家从小学就开始介入,一直到中学,贯穿整个英文学习过程,是英文高考必考语法项目,更是老师批改学生作文的一大原则。Frankie 的例子是非常普遍的。我真诚地希望读者能从这些例子里吸取一些有益的东西,对一些国外写作的常规逐步熟悉。我们来看下面的句子:

Canada is a beautiful country,many inter-national students like studying there .

这个句子很多大陆学生会认为是正确的句子,实际上是一个很典型的粘连句,是个错句。如果你的写作里充满了这样的句子,即便你用了许多漂亮的词汇,文章写得多么有趣儿,也一定会丢很多分。这个句子最简单的改法是把逗号变成句号,也就是把一个错句变成两个正确的句子:

Canada is a beantiful country. Many international students like studying there .

另外一种常见写法是除逗号外再加一个连接词:

Canada is a beautiful country ,and many international students like studying there.

最后还可以用分号代替逗号把两个完整句连起来,换句话说,分号可以独立连接两个完整句而逗号不行:

Canada is a beautiful country; many inter-national students like studying there .

下面我们做一点小练习。

试从下面句子中找出粘连句(run-on sentences):

1.Teaching is a hard job. Great efforts go into each 1esson.

2.Teachingis a hard job great efforts go into each 1esson.

3.Teachingis a hard job,great efforts go into each lesson.

上面练习1是两个正确的句子,2是粘连句,3也是粘连句。你的答案和我一样吗?

上一部分我在最后给读者留了一个错句,不知改正得如何。看了上面这段讲解应该知道如何下手了。原句:

Before going to the grocery, you should make list if you make a habit of planning first, you will not buy unneeded items.这是很典型的粘连句,完全粘连型。两个完整句中间没有任何连接词,是错的。最简单的改法就是把两个完整句用句号断开,成为正确句。Before going to the grocery,you should make a list. If you make a habit of planning first, you will not buy unneeded items. 错句看起来简单,具体应用在写作上,就不容易了。为了说明巩固本部分所讲的内容,我们做几个粘连句练习,答案在本期内找。

1.Since I never cook perhaps it would be wise not to try,it will make me bored.

2.Without my mom's love,I would giveup I did not.

3.A great number of Chinese students prefer to major in business, actually they do not have any interest in it.

4.Working hard,hepassed the test,his parents are pleased and relieved.

5.A1though I was tired,I tried to finish the article, my husband helped me proofread it.

6.If the claims by the manufacturer are true,I do not mind attempts to get me to buy a prodact,false claims tend to anger me though.

(二)断句或不完整句

本部分要讲的是在国外英文写作中,ESL 学生包括母语是英语的学生常犯的第二类大错:断句或不完整句(sentence fragments) 。所谓句子,简单地说就是:主语+动词+完整意思。如果在写作过程中,缺主语或缺动词或意思不完整,就会产生断句错误。断句不但使句子艰涩难懂更会在写作中失去很多分数。下面就谈谈几种常见的情况。

第一种情况:缺主语。例句:

1.Many Chinese people are becoming rich is obvious.

2.WalkonOak Street,Helen did not notice the bus loop.

例1中,动词is 没有主语。一个完整的句子是不能作主语的。这是个很典型的缺主语的断句。对刚刚出国不久语感还不强的中国学生来讲,通常都是靠简单的中译英来写句子和文章;因而,这样的句子就频频出现,使写作分数大打折扣。可改为:That many Chinese people are becoming rich is obvious .或者It isobvious that many Chinese people are becoming rich.

例2的情况比较复杂,动词walk 没有主语,但简单 加一个主语,句子仍然是错的。She walked on Oak Street,Helen did not notice the bus loop.读过上一部分就不难发现,这是一个非常明显的粘连句。正确的写法是:When Helen walked on Oak Street,she did not notice the bus loop.或 Walking on Oak Street, Helen did not notice the bus loop .比较而言,第二句要好很多,但第一句不是错句,只是弱了些。

下面我们做几个小练习,识别一下刚讲过的缺主语的断句。

1.There are a lot of Indian people live in Vancouver.

2.My tutor is in the study,talking with my dad.

第一句是断句,这是一句极为典型的中译英错句:有很多印度人住在温哥华。这样直接翻译过来的句子,因live 这个动词没有主语,造成错句。正确写法是:There are a lot of Indian people living in Vancouver.或A lot of Indian people live in Vancouver .后一句读起来要地道很多。第二句是正确的句子。

第二种情况:缺动词。例句:

1.The teacher helping me out of ESL class.

2.The issue debated.

3.She looks almost like her twin sister.The only difference being that she is a little taller.

例1中,主语teacher 没有动词,改法就是给句子加上动词,可改为:The teacher helping me out of ESL class is patient.这里没有惟一答案,因为每个人要表达的意思不一样,所用的动词就不一样,但主语必须有动词,这是最重要的。

例2中,主语issue 同样也没有动词,主语一定要有动词。可改为:The issue debated is controversial.或The issue debated is critical.不管怎样,主语issue 有了

自己的动词,使要表达的句子完整,达到了交流的目的。

例3中,第一部分是正确句子,第二部分虽然有主语,有句号,但是主语difference 没有动词,being 是不能独立作动词的。最简单的改法是:第一部分不动,She looks almost like her twin sister;第二部分把being 改成is ,形成一个完整的句子。The only difference is that she is a little taller.或许有的写作水平高一些的同学会把第一部分的句号换成逗号,第二部分不动,只是将The only...变成the only...:She looks almost like her twin sister, the only difference being that she is a little taller. 第二种写法难度比较大,笔者认为,作为初学写作的同学,不必急于尝试写这种句子,现阶段只要能写正确的句子就可以了。请大家再看几个练习:

1. I have two sisters, one living in China, and the other in Vancouver.

2.Theylooked at each other longingly. None of them speaking a word.

第一句是正确的句子,但第二句是断句,正确写法:They looked at ecach other longingly None of them spoke a word.或They looked at each other longingly , none of them speaking a word.

第三种情况:意思不完整。例句:

I enjoy the sunshine. Because it soothes my weary muscle.

很明显,这是个错句。第一部分是正确的,而第二部分根本就不是一个完整的句子,尽管有主语和动词,但没有完整意思,只是一个从句,所以不是完整句。正确写法:I enjoy the sunshine because it soothes my weary muscle.这是一个主句加一个状语从句。或者把从句中的连接词去掉,使之变成两个完整的正确句子:I enjoy the sunshine.It soothes my weary muscle.这种情况的错误通常都是很多同学在用由when ,before ,after ,since ,until ,every time,once ,because ,as ,if, unless ,although 等引导的状语从句时出现的。避免这种类型错误的简单方法就是不要以状语从句开始一句话,而是先写主句再写从句,等熟练以后确保不会犯断句错误时,主句放前还是从句放前都没关系,只要句子对。国外很多中学的英文老师为了防止学生犯这类错误,开始只是告诉学生永远不要以Because 开始句子。我们做几个练习。

1.At the airport when I met him.

2.Angela did not give up.Thongh she knew she was on the wrong track. 这两个句子都是断句。

参考答案如下:

1.At the airporr when I met him he hugged me.

2.Angela did not give up though she knew she was on the wrong track. 有关断句错误我们就先到这里。总结如下:在英文写作时,每个句子都应该有三大要素:主语、动词和完整意思;只要缺少一个要素,就犯了断句错误。为巩固这一部分的内容,希望大家能把下面的练习做一下,答案见本期。

1.Thefalltreesarelovely.Magnificent shades of golden red.

2.Children grow up in Canada are happy and carefree.

3. I am amazed at the new buildings.bUildings,on both sides of the street and in the lot behind the old shopping mall.

4.The girl looks beautiful.Long hair blowing in the wind.

5.The favorite spectator sport for Americans is football.While Europeans get excited about soccer.

6.You should go.Whether it deserves or not.

Warm up exericses :

1. She is pretty, smart and has a lot of money.

2.The new material is both lightly and remarkably strong.

(三)不平行结构

我们先来看看上一节中的warm-up exercises:1.She is pretty,smart and has a lot of money.2.The new material is both lightly and remarkably strong.这两句尤其第一句对很多ESL 学生来讲完全是个正确的句子,如果加拿大的写作老师说是错的,很多同学会觉得老师是鸡蛋里挑骨头。第二句是一道托福真题,当然是错的句子。这两句到底错在哪儿了? 这正是我们要讲的不平行结构(faulty parallelism) 。

- 英语句子中将两个或两个以上的相同句子成分用并列连词连接起来称为并列结构,也称平行结构。组成平行结构的可以是词、词组,或者从句。英文写作要求平行结构中各个部分必须采用相同的表达形式,否则就会犯失去平行的错误。常见的连接平行结构的连词有:and ,or ,but ,not ,than ;词组有:not only...but also ,either...or ,neither...nor ,both...and 。这些词和词组看似简单,却不容易用对。但记住一条,很多错误就可避免,即在使用这些词尤其词组时,一定要保证这些连词和词组前后的句子成分一定平行。简单讲就是这些连词或词组前面的中心词是什么词性后面的中心词就一定是相同词性。比如前面是名词那么后面也要名词。例如:a girl and a boy.前面是形容词后面一定是形容词,例如:good but costly .前面是动名词,动词不定式,从句或句子,后面一定跟相同成分。例如:not only reading currents but also watching news on TV/either to dine out or to have a snack at home/The nanny does not know whether she has to quit the job or whether she has to stay just for money./Helen has much more money than does her boyfriend.

读到这里,我们应该知道开头练习的答案了。在第一句中,and 前面是形容词,可后面却是一个句子,是非常典型的不平行结构,应改成:She is pretty,smart and rich.第二句就复杂一些,both 后面是副词,可and 后面的中心词是形容词,显然不平行,根据全句的意思,both 和and 后面都应该是形容词,所以,正确答案是:The new material is both light and remarkably strong. 在整体平行结构中,and 这个词是最难辨认的,所以也是最难正确使用的。可以说,and 对ESL 学生来说是最简单的单词,但是真的用起来是非常难把握的。很多读者会觉得,有那么严重吗? 不要危言耸听吧。让我们先来做几个平行结构的练习再继续讨论。

1.Kurt started being on the rink at four years old,skating at six,and to play hockey at eight.

2.Jennifer's husband ,Glen ,is not only a romantic partner but quite resourceful as well.

3.Who can tell me how to do this efficiently and without any effort?

4.It is better to repeat a noun than making an ambiguous statement.

5.The style of the American poet Hilda Doolittle is characterized by a particular emphasis on the precise and object treatment of images.

在这五个练习里不完全都是错误的句子,有一句是对的。是哪一句呢? 我们

逐句分析后,答案就出来了。

第一句里,and 很明显应该连接的是started 后面的三个动名词,而在错句里and 前面有两个动名词,being 和skating, 可后面就变成动词不定式to play 了,因此导致了句子不平行,造成错句。应改成:Kurt started being on the rink at four years old,skating at six,and playing hockey at eight.

第二句里,not only...but also,或not only... but...as well,或not only...but这几个词组要求平行。简单讲,not only后面的中心词是什么词性或什么句子成分,but (but also)后面的中心词也应该是一样的。第二句中not only后面的中心词是名词partner ,可是but 后面的中心词却是形容词resourceful ,这是一个失去平行的错句。

很多中国学生在刚上英文写作课时,每次加拿大老师把作文发下来,只要用了上面这几个词组的同学,极少有人用对,多数人都有这样的红字批改:faulty parallelism 。原因是他们确实不知道这是错误。这也是国内外英文写作教学和学习侧重点不同造成的。国内英文写作比较看重漂亮词汇和词组的使用,而国外英文写作重视词或词组用得是否恰当,即比较看重整体性。不仅如此,严重的是要为此失去很多分数。这就是为什么我们对刚到国外留学的学生反复强调尽量先写简单准确的句子,经过一段时间的海外英文学习,结合国内的知识就能写出既漂亮又合乎国外英文写作要求的句子或文章。真正有水准的高分英文写作绝不是停留在简单准确,更不是机械地堆积华丽词语。用漂亮词没错,关键是用对。回头再看第二句,虽然用了一个很好的词组,可惜用错了。正确用法:Jennifer's husband ,Glen ,is not only a romantic partner but aresourceful man as well. 第三句比较而言会使刚接触平行结构的读者上当。这是个对的句子。为什么呢? 这里就是上文所说的 and 的难用之处。用and 作简单连接很容易,比如:Tom and Mary ;smart and rich...但句子稍复杂一点,很多同学就晕了。可以毫不夸张地说,如果在阅读尤其类似国外大学课本或托福阅读材料时,能准确知道and 到底连接的是什么,再难的文章也相对容易多了。在读第三句时很多同学都觉得是错的,因为and 连接的是副词efficiently 而后面是介词短语without any effort,表面看是错了,实际上and 连接的是两个平行的语法成分(状语) ,所以是对的。

第四句里,要注意than 的使用,这个词所要连接的成分一定平行。在这句里,than 后面是动名词making 而前面没有动名词,只有动词不定式to repeat a noun ,所以失去平行。要达到平行,或把动名词改成动词不定式:It is better to repeat a noun than to make an am biguous statement.或把动词不定式改成动名词:It is better repeating a noun than making an ambiguous statement.

第五句是一道托福真题。托福文法部分的考点都是非常基本的,概括起来大约十大类考点,我这里讲的四大句子错误就是其中的四点,尤其这里讲的平行结构,不但必考无疑,而且占的比例非常大。看第五句中and 连接谁,这并不难,应该是两个形容词共同修饰名词treatment ,但现在and 前面是形容词precise ,可后面不是形容词而是名词object ,为使句子达到平行,也就是使句子正确,必须把名词。objiect 变成形容词形式 objective ,应改为:The style of American poet Hilda Doolittle is characterized by a practical emphasis on the precise andobjective treatment of images.

下面简单总结一下这部分内容。在英文写作中,当使用连词and ,but ,or ,not 还有than 时一定要记住用平行结构,关键是连接什么;另外用词组not

only...but also,either...or,both...and ,neither...nor 时更要注意句子结构的平行,如果拿不准,建议最好不用,不用总比错用要好得多。为巩固这部分内容,我们做几个练习:答案本期内找。

1.There is a great difference between learning knowledge and to apply.

2.Wanting to accomplish something and if you actually accomplish it may not be the same thing.

3.It is what you do,not saying it,that counts.

4.Peter enjoyed chatting with Elsa, listening to her complaints,and to give her suggestion .

5.A kiln(干燥炉) is a furnace used to dry,cure ,hard ,or melt many kinds of materials .

6.Summer has more friends than me.

7.He jogs to lose weight,stay healthy,and it is fun.

Warm-up exercises:

1. Meeting her only once, she enchanted him completely.

2.To go to university in Canada, TOEFL has to be tested.

(四)悬空修饰

让我们来看看ESL学生在英文写作中最容易犯的最后一种错误(danghng modiher 悬空修饰) 。这种错误是非常普遍的,尤其是在写英文作文时,习惯逐句把中文硬翻译成英文后再下笔的同学更易犯这种错误。比如这样一个句子,“要上美国和加拿大的公立大学得考托福”。这句话中文讲得通,但用英文来表达时,问题就出来了,很多中国学生都会写成To attend university in both America and Canada ,TOEFL has to be tested.这个句子看上去似乎没错,实际上是个错句。为什么呢?

-在英文写作中,一个完整的句子前面,有修饰成份是司空见惯的,但问题往往就出在修饰成份上。作为修饰成份它一定要有所修饰,换句话说就是要有自己的主语(完整的状语从句) 或逻辑主语(省略后的状语从句) 。如果省略后的状语从句的逻辑主语不是主句的主语,就犯了悬空修饰的错误。我们来看刚才的这个例句,主句TOEFLl has to be tested前面的动词不定式应该是修饰成份,但这个动词不定式修饰谁呢? 按现在的写法是修饰TOEFL ,可是逻辑上讲不通,因为只有人才能上大学,才能发出attend 这个动作,而 TOEFL 不是人也根本发不出这个动作。简单讲就是attend 的逻辑主语不可能是TOEFL ,所以句子是错的。正确的改法有两个:1.把主句的主语变成人,任何人称都可以,只要能发出attend 这个动作就可以,比如,To attend university in both American and Canada,many international students have to take the TOEFL test. 2. 把动词不定式还原为状语从句,使attend 有自己的主语,从而使整个句子逻辑通顺,If international students want to attend university in both America and Canada.TOEFL has to be taken.比较而言,第一句要比第二句自然地道很多,但第二句也是个正确的句子。

读了上面的例句及解释,我们上一节的warm-up 练习2就有了答案。原句:To go to university in Canada ,TOEFL has to be tested .应改为:To go to university in Canada,many foreign students have to take the TOEFL test.或If foreign students want to go to university in Canada,many of them have to

take the TOEFL test.既然这种错误是称为悬空修饰,很明显,充当修饰语的那个部分很重要。一个主句的前面要是有修饰成份,除了完整的状语从句外(完整状语从句不会引发悬空修饰错误,这里讲的主句修饰成份不包括完整状语从句) 还有什么样的结构来充当修饰成份呢?

上文的例子里,修饰语是动词不定式,除此之外比较常见的是现在分词和过去分词短语(doing/done)、介词短语、形容词或形容词短语,最后是名词短语。名词短语放句首作修饰很不容易用对,也是托福考试中的考点,如果不从悬空修饰的角度理解很难答对题目。下面分别举例分析:

一、现在分词短语作修饰语可能带来的悬空修饰错误。Finishing dinner,the table was cleaned.这句显然错了,table 不可能发出finishing 这个动作,也就是说finishing 的逻辑主语不是table ,所以出现错误。应改为:1.Finishing dinner,mom cleaned the table.或 2.When we finished dinner,the table was cleaned .这个例句读完,前一节的warm-up 练习就有了答案。原句:Meeting her only once,she enchanted him completely.应改成:Meeting her only once,he was enchanted by her completely.

二、过去分词短语作修饰语可能带来的悬空修饰错误。Made in China ,Rebecca bought a Beijing jeep.这个句子里,made 是过去分词,是被动态,修饰谁呢? 好像是Rebecca ,但根据句子的意思,Rebecca 不可能被made ,人只能说born ,这样made 就没有什么可修饰的了;也就是说made 的逻辑主语不是主句的主语Rebecca ,这样写的结果就是修饰语没有自己的逻辑主语,没有什么可修饰的,悬空在那里,造成错误。应改成:Rebecca bought a Beinjing jeep made in China.

三、介词短语放在句首作修饰语可能带来的悬空修饰错误。At the age of three ,her mom sent her to the music school.很多中国学生在刚看此句时都觉得是对的,因为翻译成中文也挺顺口的:三岁时,妈妈就送她去音乐学校了。这个英文句子现在的写法意思是:When her mom was three years old,her mom sent her to the music school.如果这样写笑话都出来了,哪里有三岁的妈妈? 应改成1.At the age of three, she was sent to the music school by her mom .2.WhenShewas at the age of three,her mom sent her to the music school .

四、形容词或形容词短语作修饰语可能带来的悬空修饰错误。Very expensive ,my mom did not buy me the pants.很明显,expensive 不可能修饰my mom,按以上写法,悬空修饰的错误就出来了。应改成:Very expensive,the pants were not bought by my mom.

五、名词在句首作修饰语可能带来的悬空修饰错误。A beautiful city,many tourists favour Vancouver.这里名词city 应该是指Vancouver ,可现在这样写,就变成city 在修饰many people了,这显然不合逻辑。因为city 的逻辑主语不是也不可能是tourists ,因为city 不是人。如果不动前面的名词,应改成:A beautiful city, Vancouver is favoured by many tourists.

总结一下上面的内容:1:任何一个主句前都经常会有修饰成份,不论修饰成分是动词不定式或动词不定式短语、现在分词或过去分词短语、介词短语、形容词或形容词短语、名词及名词短语,不管修饰成份由什么充当(完整状语从句除外) ,这个修饰语一定要修饰主句的主语,必须要有逻辑关系,否则就会出现

悬空修饰的错误。下面做几个练习巩固一下:

1.At home,the live show can be watched on TV.

2.Ifwateredtwice a week,grandma will grow a good garden.

3. Standing on the sundeck,the beautiful stars are twinkling.

4.While a child,my parents often took me to the beach.

5.When ready,take the meat out ofthe oven imaediately.

6.To get good scores,more exercises have to be done.

上面的6句都是错的,逐句分析一下:

1.介词短语类。可改成:At home,the kids can watch the live show on TV

2.过去分词类。可改成:If watered twice a week,a good garden will be grown by grandma.

3.现在分词类。可改成:Standing on the sundeck,my daughter observed the beautiful tars twinkling.或Whenhewasstandingonthe sundeck,my daughter observed the beautiful stars twinkling.

4.名词类。可改成:While a child ,I was often taken to the beach by my parents .或When I was a child,my parents often took me to the beach.

5.形容词类。可改成:When ready,the meat has to be taken out of the oven immediately .或 When the meat is ready, take it out of the oven immediately.

6.动词不定式类。可改成:To get good scores ,students have to do more exercises .或If students want to get good scores, more exercises have to be done. 我们的练习是请大家用已经给出的修饰成份,写一个基本主句使之与修饰部分呼应,避免悬空修饰。(答案见本期)

1.Having grown up in the 1960s,_______.

2.Toreceivepermission for a field trip,_________.

3.If properly frozen, _________.

4. By mowing the grass infrequently and cutting it high,__________. - 5. When riding on a train, _________.

6. In the elevator, _________.

7. To understand Shakespeare, _________.

8. Before I graduate, _________.

9. Upon entering the twelfth grade, _________.

10. Tied securely to the tree, _________.

三、英文写作常见四大句子错误回顾

我们 已经把国外英语学习与教学过程中最基本、最重要,也是很多中国大陆学生忽视或者根本没有意识到的英文写作四大句子错误讲完了。为了加深印象,温故而知新,让我们一起来通过例句总体回顾一下这几种错误句型:

一、Runa-on Senteace(粘连句) :在英文写作中,两个完整的句子如果不是用并列连接词连接就要依靠标点符号,要么句号要么分号,绝不能用逗号或者什么标点符号都不用,这样就会造成粘连句。

例1 Vancouver is a beautiful city,I enjoy the life here.(逗号引起的粘连) 例2 The Hip-Hop recital is sensational everyone has a wonderful time.(两个完整句中间没有标点符号造成的粘连句)

二、SenteaceFragments (断句或不完整句) :一个完整的句子最基本的要素就是主语+动词+完整意思,其中缺少任何一个要素都会造成断句或不完整句。

例1 They looked at each other. None of them speaking anything.(缺动词造成的断句)

例2 There are many Chinese people live in Vancouver.(缺主语造成的断句,动词live 没有自己的主语)

例3 Because his proposal is declined.(缺少完整意思的断句)

三、Faulty Parallelism(不平行结构) :英语句子中将两个或两个以上的相同句子成分用并列连词连起来称为并列结构或平行结构。组成平行结构的可以是词、词组或从句。英文写作中,要求平行结构中各个部分必须采用相同的表达形式,否则就会犯失去平行的错误。

例1 She is pretty,smart and has a lot of money.(这里and 应该连接三个平行的形容词,但这句子里and 却把两个形容词和一个动词连接起来,造成不平行) 例2 There is a great diffierence between dining out and to have a snack at home . (动名词短语dining out和动词不定式短语to have a snack不平行)

四、Dangling Modifier(悬空修饰) :在英文写作中,一个完整的句子前面,有修饰成分是常见的。作为修饰成分它一定要有所修饰。换句话说,就是要有自己的主语(完整的状语从句的主语) 或逻辑主语 (省略后的状语从句的逻辑主语) 。如果省略后的状语从句的逻辑主语不是主句的主语,就犯了悬空修饰的错误。 例1 Meeting her only once,she enchanted him completely.(Meeting的逻辑主语不是she ,所以出现悬空)

例2 To meet the requirement,LPI(Linux认证考试)has to be tested.(To meet的逻辑主语不是LPI ,形成悬空修饰)

我们简单地回顾了四大基本写作错误。下面来看国内一名普通的高中毕业生刚进入加拿大的学校学习时写的一篇文章。文章中有四大错误的一种或几种,读一读,看是否能把这些错找出来。

1)There are some people think knowledge gained from experience. 2)Other peoplerefuse thisopinion, saidthesource which gained from books is more important. I think both of them are important.

Knowledge gained from experience is absolutely correct. When a baby is born, 3)does he/she learning something from book?The answer is no because he does not know alphabet, 4)he even cannot call his parents. 5)How he to learn. Eating, speaking, smile, and so on. That is gained from their experience and not from book. Second, where does the book come from? That is from author.6)How the author to write the book.The answer is from his experience. Therefore, I think, if people do not have experiences, they will not create any knowledge, so experience is more important.

Nevertheless, learning from books is a shortcut toward some people. Creating knowledge should take much time, so the knowledge which is discovered will be written in a book by author.When people want to learn the knowledge,they do not need spend too much time, and just find a book which is written. Anyway, 7)book is not neither good nor reason.

Finally, I think that should not stop us from looking for quicklines along the

way. Which way is correct? Nobody can give the exact answer. 8)Such as nobody is same as somebody. 9)Therefore, choosing a way which is suit to oneself is absolutely practical.

参考答案

“粘连句”参考答案:

1.Since I never cook perhaps it would be wise not to try. It will make me bored. /Since I never cook perhaps it would be wise not to try or it will make me bored.

2. Without my mom's love, I would give up. I did not ./ Without my mom's love, I would give up but I did not .

3. A great number of Chinese students prefer to major in business. Actually they do not have any interest in it.

4. Working hard, he passed the test. His parents are pleased and relieved./ Working hard, he passed the test, and his parents are pleased and relieved.

5.Although I was tired, I tried to finish the article. My husband helped me proofread it.

6. If the claims by the manufacturer are true, I do not mind attempts to get me to buy a product. False claims tend to anger me though. /If the claims by the manufacture are true, I do not mind attempts to get me to buy a product, but false claims tend to anger me though.

-“断句或不完整句”参考答案:

1. The fall trees are lovely with magnificent shades of golden red.

2. Children growing up in Canada are happy and carefree.

3. I am amazed at the new buildings on both sides of the street and in the lot behind the old shopping mall.

4. The girl looks beautiful with long hair blowing in the wind.

5. The favorite spectator sport for Americans is football while Europeans get excited about soccer.

6.You should go whether it deserves or not.

“不平行结构”参考答案:

1. There is a great difference between learning knowledge and applying it. 或There is a great difference between to learn knowledge and to apply it.

2. Wanting to accomplish something and actually haveing accomplished it may not be the same thing.

3. It is what you do, not what you say, that counts.

4. Peter enjoyed chatting with Elsa, listening to her complaints, and giving her suggestions.

5. A kiln is a furnace used to dry, cure, harden or melt many kinds of materials.

6. Summer has more friends than I do.或Summer has more friends than do I.

7. He jogs to lose weight, stay healthy, and have fun.

“悬空修饰”参考答案:

1. Having grown up in the 1960s, my sisters are familiar with the movie.

2. To receive permission for a field trip, the teacher sent out the form.

3. If properly frozen, strawberries can keep good for quite a while.

4. By mowing the grass infrequently and cutting it high, the gardener does not come to the house very often.

5. The little girl screamed when riding on a train.

6. In the elevator, Cindy met Dr. Ben.

7. To understand Shakespeare, read his plays.

8. Before I graduate, TELUS(加拿大第二大电话公司)offers me a volunteer job in which I am quite interested.

9. Upon entering the twelfth grade, Angela starts staying up late.

10. Tied securely to the tree, the little pony looks hopeless.