一件小事
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一件小事

我从乡下跑到京城里,一转眼已经六年了。其间耳闻目睹的所谓国家大事,算起来也很不少;但在我心里,都不留什么痕迹。倘要我寻出这些事的影响来说,便只是增长了我的坏脾气,——老实说,便是教我一天比一天的看不起人。 有一件小事,却于我有意义,将我从坏脾气里拖开,使我至今忘记不得。 这是民国六年的冬天,大北风刮得正猛,我因为生计关系,不得不一早在路上走。一路几乎遇不见人,好容易才雇定了一辆人力车,教他拉到S 门去。不一会,北风小了,路上浮尘早已刮净,剩下一条洁白的大道来,车夫也跑得更快。刚近S 门,忽而车把上带着一个人,慢慢地倒了。

跌倒的是一个女人,花白头发,衣服都很破烂。伊从马路边上突然向车前横截过来;车夫已经让开道,但伊的破棉背心没有上扣,微风吹着,向外展开,所以终于兜着车把。幸而车夫早有点停步,否则伊定要栽一个大斤斗,跌到头破血出了。

伊伏在地上;车夫便也立住脚。我料定这老女人并没有伤,又没有别人看见,便很怪他多事,要自己惹出是非,也误了我的路。

我便对他说,“没有什么的。走你的罢!”

车夫毫不理会,——或者并没有听到,——却放下车子,扶那老女人慢慢起来,搀着臂膊立定,问伊说:

“你怎么啦?”

“我摔坏了。”

我想,我眼见你慢慢倒地,怎么会摔坏呢,装腔作势罢了,这真可憎恶。车夫多事,也正是自讨苦吃,现在你自己想法去。

车夫听了这老女人的话,却毫不踌躇,仍然搀着伊的臂膊,便一步一步的向前走。我有些诧异,忙看前面,是一所巡警分驻所,大风之后,外面也不见人。这车夫扶着那老女人,便正是向那大门走去。

我这时突然感到一种异样的感觉,觉得他满身灰尘的后影,刹时高大了,而且愈走愈大,须仰视才见。而且他对于我,渐渐的又几乎变成一种威压,甚而至

于要榨出皮袍下面藏着的“小”来。

我的活力这时大约有些凝滞了,坐着没有动,也没有想„„。

A Small Evant

It has been six years since I came to the capital from the countryside. During this time, I've heard and witnessed a lot of things which were regarded as “affairs of state”. But none of them had effect on me. If asked to define their influence on me, I can only say they made my bad temper worse. Frankly speaking, they taught me to take a poorer view to people every day.

But there was one small event which had deep influence on me and pulled me out of my bad temper. That's why I still remember it clearly.

It was the winter of 1917, and astrong wind was blowing. To make a living, I had to go to work early in the morning. I could barely meet people on the street, so it took a long time to hire a rickshaw. I told the rickshaw man to take me to the south gate. Presently the wind dropped a little, having blown away the drifts of the dust on the road and left a clean broad highway. The rickshaw man run faster. Just as we approached the south gate, the right shaft of the rickshaw collided with someone, who crumpled to the ground.

It was a woman with grey hair, wearing shabby clothes.

She suddenly rushed towards the rickshaw from the side of the street. The rickshaw man had swerved aside, but her tattered cotton-padded vest, unbuttoned and fluttering in the wind, still got caught on the shaft. Fortunately, the rickshaw man had slowed his pace; or she would surely have been thrown head over heels and seriously injured. The old woman was down on all fours, and the rickshaw man halted. I was sure she was not hurt and no one else had seen what happened, so I thought the rickshaw man was overreacting. He was simply asking for trouble and delaying my journey. I told him, “This is nothing, just go.”

He ignored my words, or he did not hear me. He put the shaft aside, and helped the old woman to her feet. Supporting her by the arm, he asked:

“Are you all right?”

“I got hurt.”

“I saw you fall down slowly on the ground. How can you be hurt? You’re only pretending. How disgraceful!” I thought, “the rickshaw man is bringing trouble to himself. So let him get out of this mess by himself.”

After he aring the woman’s words, without hesitation, the rickshaw man still supporting her by the arm, he walked her forward step by step. A little surprised, I looked ahead there was a police station. No one was there after the wind blowing. The rickshaw man was guiding the woman there.

At that moment I suddenly felt a curious sensation. As I watched they went further, the rickshaw man suddenly seemed to loom quite large, and seemed to become larger in my field of vision, until I had to raise my head in order to take him in. At the same time he seemed to have become a kind of pressure to me, which seemed to squeeze out all the “smallness” hidden under my fur-lined cloak.

At that moment I felt my blood was solidified. I sat still, stunned...