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初三 记叙文 2615字 97人浏览 柏拉图未到

Tutor Marked Offline Composition Sample 1Writing a Formal Letter Jinxing Gold Trade Company No.1001, 16Building,West Block of Jintao Shantou, 515041 Guangdong, P. R. China Tel: 0754-8859382 E-mail:

sofia71@163.com October 7, 2005Ref.: 134Mr. Wang DongYujia International Trade Co. Ltd3 Floor, 2 Building, Chuizhu RoadShenzhen, 518019Guangdong, P. R.ChinaDear Mr. Wang,I am writing to inform you of the detailed information about our company’s gold trade which I received restudy.?Our company manages gold trades and sales, producing and processing gold and plating ornaments, and selling jewelry ornaments. Our company is one of the membership units belonging to the Shanghai Gold Exchange. It is the only one acting as agent in the Yuedong region to operate gold trade through the Internet. Any customer who shows his interest in gold trade could contact us by phone, E-mail, or visiting our company. Customers can apply for our membership to buy or sell gold. First, the customers must sign a contract with our company to obey the rules. Second, the customers must open an account in the bank in order to deposit funds. Then, they must prepare funds for buying gold through the Internet when needed. They inform us of their request. And then, we will confirm the price, the numbers, and the capital. After everything is correct, our company will conduct the gold trade through the Internet at the customer’s request. While finishing the gold trade, we will fax the data to the customers and inform the date of delivery of goods.If the gold price is increasing by any chance, the customers could sell their gold to make profits, as the selling price is higher than the buying price at that time. If the customers could predict the gold’s tendency in the future, some risk would be avoided.I hope you will be interested in my introduction and visit our company at your convenience. We look forward to hearing from you! Yours sincerely,signatureChen SongzhuOffice DirectorRater Comments:This letter is properly formatted in its layout. And in terms of content, there is a clear theme, which is presented as the purpose of the writing at the beginning and developed in the rest of the letter to a desirable extent. In other words, the letter is generically in line with the established practice of formal English letters. It had 325 words, meeting the requirement in length. However, the language needed improving. First, the overall style did not sound consistently formal. Secondly, there were some errors in it though the student was able to make herself understood. It scores 5.5 points.

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