赏析蝴蝶梦翻译
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1 赏析《蝴蝶梦》(Rebecca )简写本景色描写翻译

《蝴蝶梦》(Rebecca )是英国女作家达夫妮·杜穆里埃(Daphne du Maurier)的成名作品,甚至被视为与《简爱》齐名。我手中的这一版为:

原著:Daphne du Maurier

改写:A.S.M.Ronaldson

翻译:刘保山

中英对照中,可以看出译者对于原稿的把握与揣摩。对于中文阅读者来说,景物描写的理解一直是英语作品的难点。在阅读英语作品中,我感到最易理解的是一些专业文章,因为在解决专业词汇后就可以大体把握文章要义。其次是新闻,除了词汇和句式外,往往作者态度和大义不难把握。作者的意图重在从中给予读者信息和观点。最难以理解的是小说,除了多种变化的形式外,作者往往有深意在其中,常常暗示给出,以不同的意向引领读者,给予读者一定的情感或情绪体验,对于非英语母语以及非英语文化下成长的中文阅读者,我觉得很难。

而《蝴蝶梦》是一起悬疑的气氛著名。读这个故事,会明显感受到那种作者所描绘的阴霾,压抑的气氛。而这些气氛的展现,除了主角的心理变化,或者少之又少的直接描写外,剩下的就是大量的侧面烘托,其中,最为重要的,也是给我印象最深的,就是景物的描写。读这本故事时年纪还比较小,但读过之后仿佛亲身经历过曼德利庄园的美景或者是最压抑的环境一般。可见刘保山先生的考究和传神。

1. Last night I dreamt that I went to Manderley again. It seemed to that I was going in by the iron entrance gates. The private road was just a narrow ribbon now, its stony surface covered with grass and weeds. Sometimes, when I thought it lost, it would appear again, beneath a fallen tree or beyond a muddy ditch made by the winter rains, the trees had thrown out new branches which stretched across my way. I came upon the house suddenly, and stood there with my heart beating fast and tears coming to my eyes.

(翻译: 昨天夜里,我梦见又回到了曼德利。我仿佛是从那扇大铁门进去的。如今车道像条狭窄的带子,石砌路面长满野草。有时,我以为小道已到尽头,它却又从倒在地上的树底钻了出来,或从冬雨积成的泥泞小沟那头出现了。树木已新抽低枝,挡住我的去路。突然我又来到住宅前面,站在那里,心怦怦地跳,两眼热泪盈眶。)

这是全书第一段,作为开始,气氛就已经开始烘托,而翻译也很简洁。“I dreamt that I went”,翻译是省略了重复出现的代词,一个主语掌管全句。“It seemed to that ”译者译为“我仿佛…”,去掉了It 这个形式主语。而像“now ”这样的词,不是译为“现在”,而是翻译为“如今”这类较为文学性的词汇。

这一段文字是被人称颂多年的。只要看过《蝴蝶梦》的人,就会朗诵第一句,“昨天夜里,我梦见又回到了曼德利”。在译文中,译者的用词很斟酌,用的词语没有过分华丽,但是却整合在一起很流畅地表达了原文的基调和笔锋。所以在读过译文多年后接触原文,有一种自然而然的熟悉感,可以很自如地把握原文的行文。

2. There was Manderley, our Manderley, secret and silent as it had always been, the grey stone shining in the moonlight of my dream. Time could not spoil the beauty of those walls, nor the place itself, lying like a jewel in the hollow of a hand. The grass sloped down towards the sea, which was sheet of silver lying calm under the moon, like a lake undisturbed by wind or storm. I turned again to the house, and I saw that the garden had run wild, even as the woods

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2 had done.

(翻译:这就是曼德利,我们的曼德利,还是那样神秘而幽静。灰白色的砖石在梦境的月光里闪闪发光。时光的流逝,丝毫无损于围墙的完美,也无损于宅邸本身,它宛如托在掌心的一颗宝石。草地斜伸,直达海边,月光下一片银色的海水,寂然无波,犹如风平浪静时的湖面。我又转身面向宅邸。我发现,花园和树林子一样,完全荒芜了。) 作者的梦境在深入。而对于梦中场景的描写虽然用词简单,但是却不易理解,如“Time could not spoil the beauty of those walls ”,“in the hollow of a hand ”,“sloped down ”。译者用了很诗化的语风来处理看似简单的句子。 而“草地斜伸,直达海边,月光下一批啊银色的海水,寂然无波,犹如风平浪静时的湖面”这一个句子中,原文从句分词逻辑紧密,译入汉语时,译者拆开了从句,符合汉语里逻辑稍松的习惯,并且“calm ”一词单独译为了一个分句,着重强调了寂静的气氛。像这类将一个较长的,用关联词连接着不同从句的长句,译者常常把它们按照逻辑拆开,顺接关系的常常省去了连接词,使它们在汉语中看着比较自然。除了上述一例外,还有“the trees had thrown out new branches which stretched across my way”,译者将其译为“树木已新抽低枝,挡住我的去路”。

3. Weeds were everywhere. But moon light can play strange tricks with the fancy, even with a dreamer ’s fancy. As I stood there, quiet and still, I could swear that the house was not an empty shell but lived and breathed as it had lived before. Light came from the windows, the curtains blew softly in the night air, and there, in the library, the door would stand half open as we had left it, with my handkerchief on the table beside the bowl of autumn flowers.

(翻译:到处杂草丛生。可是月光能给人们造成奇异的幻觉,甚至对梦中人也不例外。当我平静地站在那里时,竟断定宅子不是一座空壳,它还是像从前那样,有生命,能呼吸。窗户里透出灯光,窗帘在夜风中微微飘拂;书房的门还像我们离开时那样半开着;我的手绢还留在桌子上那盆秋花的旁边。)

“But moon light can play strange tricks with the fancy, even with a dreamer’s fancy”这一句的处理是我很喜欢的一处。在阅读原文时,在这里我稍稍停顿了一下,想弄清作者到底想传达一种什么感觉,原文中对月光有一定拟人化的成分,而fancy 在辞书中的意思又比较生硬,如果我是一位译者,在这里可能会显出我对这里的难以把握。而译者很完美地传达了这一句的含义,语调,也同样的,相当富有美感。“even with a dreamer ’s fancy ”的翻译上,调整了语序,也把介词很恰当得表达出来,是一个得当的意译。

4. Then a cloud came over the moon, like a dark hand before a face. The strange feeling went. I looked again upon an empty shell, with no whisper of the past about it. Our fear and suffering were dead. When I thought about Manderley in my waking hours I would not be bitter. I would think of it as it might have been, if I could have lived there without fear. I would remember the flower gardens in the summer, and the birds that sang there, tea under the trees, and the sound of the sea coming up to us from the shore below. I would think of the blown flowers from the bushes, in the Happy Valley.

(翻译:随后,一朵乌云盖住月亮,好像一只黑手遮住了脸庞。奇异的感觉过去了,我又看到一座空壳,它对往事缄默不语。我们的忧虑和苦难早已消失了。醒着的时候想到曼德利,我不再感到辛酸。要是我能在那儿无忧无虑地生活,我就会以通常的态度来看待它了。我就会记起夏日的花园,园中的鸟语,树底下的茶点,从下方岸边传来的阵阵海涛声。我会想起幸福谷树丛中盛开的鲜花。)

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3 “with no whisper of the past about it”,译者完美的处理了很难在中文中直接对应表达的介词“with ”。如果我来尝试翻译,可能会译为“不带着对过去的低语”,但是和译文比较发现我的译文为“犹译未译”,看似直译出了这一个短句,但实则难以理解。而译者的翻译体现了原文所带的拟人,并且极具美感。

至此,是故事中女主人公在梦境中重回曼德利。多年之后的梦使得德温特夫人能够再一次亲近当年不曾产生过一丝亲近感的美丽庄园,当年的曼德利笼罩着阴森压抑的气氛,而在这样一个安静的梦里,这座庄园在月光下没有了曾经无时不有的诡秘,取而代之的是一种平和,清凉,淡然的气质。庄园的气息体现的是女主人公此刻的心境。之后,梦醒,追忆过去,故事开始了。

5. I turned the light on, and with a shock of surprise saw that the room was fully furnished, as though it were in use-----I had expected to see chairs and tables covered with dust-sheets, but nothing was covered up. There were brushes on the dressing-table, scent and powder. The bed was made up. There were flowers. Shoes were placed before a chair. For one extraordinary moment I thought that something had happened to my brain that I was seeing back into time and looking at the room as it used to be, before she died. In a minute, Rebecca herself would come back into the room, sit down at her dressing-table, and reach for her comb and start running it through her hair.

(翻译: 我开了灯,看到房间里家具陈设齐全,感到十分惊讶,仿佛这个房间一直有人住着——我原以为会看到桌子、椅子全都会用罩单蒙着,不料什么遮盖的东西也没有。梳妆台上放着发刷,香水和脂粉,床铺收拾得整整齐齐;房间里还有鲜花;鞋子放在椅子前面。在那不寻常的一刹那功夫,我脑子里突然闪过这样的念头:仿佛时光倒退回去,而自己在她犹未去世时打量这个房间…过了一会儿,丽贝卡本人就会回到屋子里来,坐在梳妆台前,拿起梳子,开始梳理头发。)

这一幕对丽贝卡房间的描写是全文中最重要的环境描写之一。丽贝卡的阴魂不散第一次在故事中通过女主人公见到逝者的房间后看似梦幻但实则剧烈的心里变化得以体现。原文叙述流畅,而情感有一种很有节制的起伏,及女主人公心里有着巨大的波动,但是却举重若轻地用一种很平静的语气叙述着。所以,精确地翻译出原文中女主人公所看到的梳妆台、床铺或者鞋子并不是很困难,但是如何精妙地把原文中拿捏巧妙的语气和笔风展现出来,并非易事。

而对于这样一幕用词不多但在整个故事中占有很重要意义的描写,译者用了一贯的笔法。拆开从句,译出“with ”的具体含义,如“with a shock of surprise”,译为“感到十分惊讶”,并且运用具有文学气息的表达,如“仿佛时光倒退回去,而自己在她犹未去世时打量这个房间”。

6. As I knelt by the window looking down o the flower gardens, the happenings of the day before seemed far away and quite unreal, here at Manderley a new day was starting; the things of the garden were not concerned with our troubles. A blackbird ran across the flower garden in swift, short rushes. A sea bird hung in the air, silent and alone, and then spread his wings wide and floated down over the woods towards the Happy Valley. These things continued; our worries and anxieties did not change them. No one would lie always in its hollow, guarded by the woods, safe and secret, while the sea broke and ran and came again over the white stones of the little bay below.

(翻译:我跪在窗边,望着下面的花园,昨天发生的事似乎已很遥远,而且不像是真的。

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4 在曼德利,新的一天又开始了。园子里的花草树木与我们的烦恼毫无关涉,一只乌鸫连蹦带跳地跑过花园,一直孤单的海鸟在空中寂寞翱翔,随后展翅飘摇而下,掠过树林上空飞往幸福谷。这一切依然如故,我们的忧虑与焦急对他们毫无影响。谁也不会损害曼德利,它将永远卧在林木环绕的山谷里,安全而神秘;海浪翻腾,去而复回,冲击着下面小海湾里的白色岩石。)

当女主人公等待着命运未知的判决时,当一切显得很无助绝望时,她看到了这样一幅场景的曼德利。作者明确地说出新的一天开始,暗示曼德利的一切应该生机勃勃。但是却在随后表达出花鸟等意象所展现的情绪并非快乐而富有生机,而是一种自顾自的孤单寂寞的感情。

而对于“A sea bird hung in the air, silent and alone”的翻译,没有机械地按照原文词汇的位置套翻,而是把形容词安置在不同位置,译文流畅而有美感。“These things continued ”被译为“这一切依然如故”,极具古典文学气息。而 “while the sea broke and ran and came again”,带有很多关联词“and ”,在英语中,有时会有“and ”的大量连用,是修辞手法中一个重要的部分,用以刻意表现联系和语气。但是,如果直译到中文会显得很荒唐,所以译者省略关联词,用逻辑关系联系起四字短语,自然流畅,并有音乐感。

7. The roan to Manderley lay ahead, there was no moon, and the sky above our heads was inky black. But the sky towards the horizon was not black at all. It was red like blood. And the ashes blew towards us with the salt wind form the sea.

(翻译:通往曼德利的大陆展现我们面前。没有月亮,我们头顶上的天空漆黑一片,可地平线那边的天空却一点也不黑,那儿是一片猩红, 像血一样。灰烬随着咸湿的海风,向我们迎面飘来。)

故事结束的最后一段,作者没有说出到底发生了什么事,但是用几笔很简单的描写表达出一种大事发生,绝望而甚至惨烈的情绪,然后全文戛然而止,给予读者自己无限的想象空间。实际上那是富饶美丽的曼德利庄园在大火之中化为灰烬的一幕。所以原文中有很多暗示情绪之处,如“no moon”,“inky black”,“red like blood”,而“ashes ”暗示了庄园的结局。所以如何把原文中这样一种气氛和情感流畅地在译文中传达给读者,并且不累赘,不缺失,是一个难点。因此译者在翻译“red ”时用了“猩红”一词。

在赏析《蝴蝶梦》翻译的同时,重新阅读这个故事,发现译文中并没有出现很高级晦涩的用词,或者是很长的句子。曾经在阅读《呼啸山庄》的一个译本,发现用词很生硬古怪,行文结构也很别扭,句子不但长,其中最典型的一个句式,状语的位置不符合中文思维,甚至读着译文让我甚至可以大致推断出原文。相比之下,这一版《蝴蝶梦》的翻译让我感到是一个成熟的译本。在不曾接触原文时,阅读译本就可以流畅地读完整个故事,仿佛就是一个用中文写就的作品。对照原文又发现,译本与原文很贴合,并没有意译得太深太远。最优秀的在于笔风和情绪的把握,完美地传达了原文的情感。而整个故事一气呵成,在一种悬疑紧张,却不失美感与梦幻的笔调下展现在读者眼前。