2014年佛二模作文讲评
初三 散文 1586字 125人浏览 老公老婆严李

基础写作

本次基础写作的主要问题如下:

一.要点信息的准确表达

1. be going to fly on June 9th from …to …

2. tell me about his experiences in France

3. visit some places of interest in Paris as well as two cities in southern France/ in the south of France

4. talk about our campus life and plans for the future

5. watch/enjoy eight matches of the World Cup and wish to learn about the local culture

6. in order to cover part of the expenses in my university life, I make up my mind to find a part-time job to earn money…

二.篇章的连贯性

Firstly; and then; after that; also; /start with; in the meanwhile; additionally;

三.句子结构的多样性

1. I am going to…

2. …will be my next destination.

3. What attracts/excites me most is that…

4. I plan to visit…, where I can not only enjoy…, but also learn about/acquire/know…

5. So colorful and… my holiday is that I can’t help…

本次大作文的主要问题

一. S ummary 部分

1. 要点概括

第一个要点基本上能够点出(作业多的现象) 第二个要点的表述过于细节化(教师的理由) 第三个要点有的同学没抓准---experts on education hold different/various/contrasting ideas/opinions on the necessity of homework.

二. 正文部分

内容上(要客观,要点明确,紧扣主题)

2. 第一个要点的描述(有同学言过其实了,而且透露出较为消极的情绪)

3. 第二个要点的描述基本还不错,但缺乏条理性

4. 第三个要点不少同学离题了,注意关键词:课外学习时间。

语言表达上

1. 名词的单复数问题,如:Large amount of homework/ too much homework

(homework 为不可数名词)

Discover/find out our shortcomings (可数名词)

2. 时态问题,一般现在时表达的是一般性经常性 …apply what we have learnt in class

…usually takes up most of my out-of-class time …spend my spare time reviewing/ learning on my own

…independent learning is a good supplement to teachers ’ teaching.

3. 篇章的连贯性

过渡句&连接词

书写卷面(本次总体有进步)

1. 排版:所给空格基本写满,概要3-3.5行,其余各段5行左右;不能超出答题区域,也不可空几行。单词与单词之间不要空隙太大,字母与字母之间不要太挤。

2. 书写:字母写整齐圆润,没有涂改